8 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships can leave emotional scars, not only physical ones. You should know the signs of a toxic relationship to recognize those red flags in your own relationship or the relationship of someone you love.

Eight Signs of a Toxic Relationship

There are eight common signs of a toxic relationship. Your relationship does not need to display all eight signs to be unhealthy and traumatic. Yours may only display one or two. For example, your significant other may not control the finances or talk badly about you behind your back (as far as you know), but this person makes mean comments and sometimes hits you or demands sex from you. This is abuse and should be dealt with carefully.

Once you recognize the signs of toxicity in your own relationship, you may need professional help to resolve it. You may need law enforcement, legal counsel, family law (if you have children), and counseling to move through the trauma and start fresh. A Christian counselor can walk you through the steps and help you end a toxic relationship.

Read more to learn eight signs of a toxic relationship.

Tells Others You are “Crazy”

An abuser needs sympathy from others. They want the focus on them and for people to understand what they are “dealing” with at home. An abuser will tell others you are crazy, hard to live with, or hostile toward them. These are often lies to remove your credibility and to gain sympathy for themselves. This can also trigger isolation as other people distance themselves from you.

Lies to Gain Sympathy

An abuser may exaggerate or outright lie about you to others to gain sympathy. They crave attention but do not want their narrative questioned. They may do whatever they can to keep you isolated and limit the chances of you finding out what they have said. An abuser may do this for sympathy or to initiate an affair.

Makes Accusations

Abusers project their own insecurities. They will accuse you of activities they have done or thought about. They may accuse you of neglect when they stay away from you for long periods of time. They may accuse you of overspending or not cleaning the house when they are guilty of uncontrollable spending, gambling, or never picking up after themselves. Your abuser may accuse you of infidelity when, in reality, they are either thinking about or having an affair.

Blames You for Everything

The blame game is another common tactic in the signs of a toxic relationship. Your abuser may blame you for everything, even things outside of your control. They may blame you for their life choices from the moment they met you until today.

This can leave you feeling ashamed and guilty. When your abuser is caught in a lie or confronted about behaviors, they may shift the blame to you with statements like, “If you hadn’t…” This projection only shows that they cannot take responsibility or show empathy for their actions.

Gives You the Silent Treatment

Your abuser may walk out during an argument. They may gaslight you into believing things are not as bad as you make them out to be or give you the silent treatment during conflict. This creates resentment and a lack of resolution to problems.

Controls the Finances

Your abuser may strictly control the finances to keep you from having money of your own. They may make it seem like you have a spending problem or comment that you “do not have a head for finances.” They make it so that you have to ask them for money or give an account for any spending. This creates a codependent relationship where you have to depend on them to have your needs met.

Verbally Insults or Demeans You

Your abuser may verbally insult, demean, or criticize you over minor things. Name-calling is another common tactic. They may slam doors and cabinets and say hurtful and personal things to you to break you down. You come away from the exchange feeling unwanted, unloved, and worthless.

Physically or Sexually Abuses You

Physical and sexual abuse should never occur in a relationship. If your significant other hits you or demands sex from you, seek help immediately. If you suspect this person is also abusing others, get help from law enforcement or family law. A counselor can offer resources.

Christian Counseling for Relationship Issues

Some toxic relationships can end quickly, while others can last for decades and become dangerous when someone tries to leave. If you are in an unhealthy relationship and feel unsure or fearful about leaving, reach out for help today. There are steps to take that can help you acknowledge a toxic relationship and recognize abusive behaviors as they are happening.

Contact our office today at Longview Christian Counseling in Washington to schedule a confidential session with a Christian counselor in Longview, WA. The counselors at Longview Christian Counseling are adept at helping people out of abusive or toxic relationships. Your therapist will assist you on your healing journey to a new life free of abuse.