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Practicing Active Listening in Communication

Practicing Active Listening in Communication

Cyndi Kay Green2025-02-27T08:54:21+00:00February 27th, 2025|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development|

We know that a big part of interacting with others involves communication. Sometimes we forget that there are two aspects of communication. Speaking is the one that everyone seems to concentrate on when it comes to understanding better communication. But listening is also important in communication. If you are not actively listening to the conversation you may miss out on something important. Listening is a way to show respect to the other person in the conversation. My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. – James 1:19, NIV What Does Active Listening Mean? The term active listening refers to being present in the conversation in which you are engaged. To be actively listening means you are fully invested in the conversation and you are willing to give it your full attention. It shows the other person you are interested in having a mutual conversation. Listening is not the same as hearing. When you hear you are not fully focused on the content or the person. When you listen you understand what the conversation is about. Types of Listening Active listening can apply to all types of listening. There are five major types of listening that we use in our everyday lives. No matter what type of listening you are engaged in you must always have the right attitude, pay attention, and adjust to what is being said. Empathetic listening is when you listen to understand the emotions and reasoning of the story that the speaker is sharing. Comprehensive listening is listening to learn. Critical listening occurs when you are listening to form an opinion of what is being said. Appreciative listening is when you listen because you want to enjoy what is being said. [...]

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Emotional Baggage, Communication, and the First Year of Marriage

Emotional Baggage, Communication, and the First Year of Marriage

Stephanie Kramer2025-01-22T05:41:54+00:00January 22nd, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Bringing emotional baggage from past relationships into your marriage can significantly impact communication and intimacy. Past trauma or unresolved issues can color your perceptions and your reactions. It’s important to address your emotional issues individually and as a couple to ensure that they don’t interfere with your marriage. Understanding Emotional Baggage We often hear the term “emotional baggage” in everyday life, but until it is applied to and interfering with our own lives, we may not fully understand the impact it can have on a relationship. Sometimes the term gets used out of context or is misused to mean past experiences. We have all had negative or damaging experiences in our lives but that doesn’t mean that we are forever broken. We may be broken, but we can be put back together, mended, and healed through God’s grace and compassion. Just because we have an experience, doesn’t mean that we are allowing those things to damage our current or future relationships. True emotional baggage refers to the unresolved emotional issues from past experiences that individuals carry into new relationships. This baggage can manifest in various ways such as distrust, fear of vulnerability, or unresolved anger. In a marriage, this baggage can create barriers to open communication and emotional intimacy, as past traumas or unresolved issues may color perceptions and reactions, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. Impact on Communication The presence of emotional baggage can significantly impact the way partners communicate. Here are some common ways it can affect communication: Distrust and Suspicion Past betrayals or infidelities can lead to distrust in a new relationship. This distrust can manifest as suspicion and constant questioning, which can strain communication, undermine intimacy, and create tension. Fear of Vulnerability Emotional wounds from past relationships can make individuals hesitate to open up and be [...]

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The Greatest Love of All: Jesus’ Blueprint for Relationships

The Greatest Love of All: Jesus’ Blueprint for Relationships

Kate Motaung2024-12-27T11:41:47+00:00December 27th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Much emphasis is placed on Biblical teaching about loving God and people, and rightly so. It is the pinnacle of the Christian faith by which others will know the believers who make up the Body of Christ (John 13:35). Furthermore, the love that we demonstrate will cause others to know God Himself. It is love alone, not fear or shame, that draws people to Jesus. In being magnetized to His lovingkindness, we find that Love is the most radical force we could ever encounter. God Himself is Love. By Him, everything visible has materialized by His spoken Word from the realm of the unseen (John 1:3; Colossians 1:16-17). The Love of God sparks and sustains relationships, underscoring our connection with others. Love is the foundation that builds community, as Jesus illustrated by engaging those who followed Him and believed. We who abide in Him learn to live sacrificially, sharpening one another, offering strength and support to live in vibrant interdependence as one diversified Body. Less than a half-century ago, an older song rebounded from obscurity, climbing its way into a hit popularized by a budding pop sensation.[1] In the remake, the songstress ascended the music charts, belting with boldness that, “learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” Jesus was the first to highlight the connection between loving God, ourselves, and our neighbors (Matthew 22:36-40). Long before these lyrics were set to music, Jesus knew that we would need to have a sense of how loved we are by God. We need this encouragement to follow His divine example to love and serve, even to the point of sacrifice. This song intersects with Scripture, illustrating how the Father’s Love activated in us allows us to respond to God, to serve Him and others well. Greater love has [...]

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Goals and Benefits of Anger Management Counseling

Goals and Benefits of Anger Management Counseling

Kate Motaung2024-12-20T11:43:23+00:00November 9th, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling|

We’ve all had those moments when our emotions have gotten the better of us. Usually, it’s when we’re feeling tired, hungry, haven’t slept well, or are under enormous pressure from work, finances, or relationship issues. In that moment, we can yield to what we’re feeling, whether it’s anger, resentment, sadness, or glee. For better or worse, we find ourselves thinking, acting, or saying something we shouldn’t, with all its consequences. We could use better anger management counseling. One powerful emotion that is often associated with negative actions and consequences is anger. Anger comes in different guises, and it has varying levels of intensity. A person can be mildly annoyed or irritated, or they can find themselves in a boiling rage. Whatever level of anger one is feeling, it can manifest and get expressed in different ways, with some of these being problematic. For the person who wrestles with anger, the good news is that there is effective help available through self-help techniques as well as the deeper work that anger management counseling yields. Is anger the problem? There are some emotions we readily consider or categorize as negative or unhealthy. These include anger and sadness. The issue, however, isn’t the emotions, but the circumstances in which they arise. We get angry in certain moments because someone has thwarted us, or because we feel threatened in some way. Sadness often follows on the heels of loss, and so the emotions themselves can start to seem unwelcome. Our emotions are an important part of our makeup, and they perform the much-needed function of alerting us to what’s going on inside of us. Thinking of your emotions as unhealthy or negative (and thus to be avoided) is about as helpful as taping over your “check engine” light or the fuel gauge in your [...]

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Understanding Each Other’s Family Dynamics Through Premarital Counseling

Understanding Each Other’s Family Dynamics Through Premarital Counseling

Stephanie Kramer2024-10-25T09:02:24+00:00October 18th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Premarital counseling is a common practice and has become a staple in many faith-based communities for good reasons. It helps couples prepare not just for their wedding day, but for the lifelong journey that follows. Some studies have shown that couples who go through premarital counseling have a lower instance of divorce than those who don’t. When doing premarital counseling for couples with children from other relationships, most pastors or therapists prepare couples by helping them learn better communication skills or how to adjust expectations for their new married lives. Still, many fail to discuss the importance of family dynamics and the process of becoming a stepfamily with their engaged clients. Many stepfamilies receive no premarital preparation whatsoever. Mature brides and grooms don’t see the need for counseling as most of their first-time married counterparts do. And when they do receive counseling, it typically follows the same framework used for first-time married couples. While this might be helpful to a certain extent, it doesn’t address the targeted support they need to address the complexities of blending families. This might leave the couple feeling unprepared for the challenges that lie ahead. Tips for effective premarital counseling To address these challenges, effective premarital counseling for blended families should include: Talking with the children Including children in the discussion about the new family structure and the wedding can make the transition smoother. Children who feel involved and heard are more likely to embrace the new family dynamic positively. Adjusting expectations Couples should recalibrate their expectations about family bonding. Blending families takes time and patience, and recognizing this can help them avoid unrealistic expectations. Acknowledging grief Recognizing and addressing the grief children (and sometimes even the couple themselves) may feel from past losses helps to build stronger bonds between stepparents and children. Establishing [...]

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Counseling for Men: Finding Help When You Need It

Counseling for Men: Finding Help When You Need It

Kate Motaung2024-11-07T13:03:32+00:00October 8th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

While the world that we live in is full of splendor and beauty, it’s also true that there is brokenness and a lot that isn’t right. We find that we aren’t at rest or peace. Through our work or accomplishments, we strive to feel accepted, worthy, secure, seen, and heard. When success comes, we find ourselves feeling a fleeting sense of rest, then we start all over again. In this context, counseling for men can be helpful. The apostle was right when he wrote that the creation is groaning, and even those who hope in Jesus are also groaning inwardly as they await the renewal of all things (Romans 8:22-25). There’s help available to us when we need it. Having others to walk with makes the journey easier, whether we are celebrating the joys of life or mourning the tragedies and hardships that mark our lives. Counseling is one of the forms of help that’s available. Counseling for men: Some challenges and opportunities Men struggle with a wide range of issues and concerns. Millions of men struggle with anxiety disorders, depression, relationship issues, anger management issues, fear of abandonment, and much more. These affect how a man thinks about himself and others, and how he acts in everyday life. These concerns can affect a man’s ability to flourish and have a healthy, well-balanced life. One of the challenges that men face is that they are socialized to be self-sufficient and to learn how to handle problems on their own. There’s often a stigma attached to a man not being able to handle things on his own. Many of the role models and heroes that the culture puts forward for men to emulate are the types who take care of their business by themselves. The hardened warrior, the cowboy, or [...]

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Building Self-esteem, God’s Way

Building Self-esteem, God’s Way

Jennifer Kooshian2025-10-11T09:20:49+00:00September 30th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Self-esteem has been defined as the evaluation that a person makes of themself in comparison to some standard, or the way they have come to think of themselves habitually. While this has always been a concern for humans throughout history, in our current Western culture, building self-esteem seems to be an obsession. The advertising industry is fueled by taglines selling products to “make you look and feel great about yourself”, and bookshops are lined with books offering self-help remedies and strategies to improve self-confidence. While some remedies are helpful, they are often short-lived, as they do not go to the root of the issue. The Bible, in giving us everything we need for life and godliness, is not silent on the issue of self-esteem, but instead points out some faulty thinking that we tend to naturally gravitate toward. What makes up one’s self-esteem? The areas where people evaluate themselves to derive their self-image tend to fall into four categories. These include: Performance – This relates to what you do; whether it’s in the classroom, on the athletic field, at work, or at home as a parent with children. This category relates to abilities and how good we are at performing the various roles in our lives. Background – People naturally tend to use “pedigree” as an evaluation category for building self-esteem. This could be where you were born and the wealth of your family, which school or college you studied at, or even which sports team you support. This element gives a source of belonging or pride (or the opposite, depending on one’s evaluation). Acceptability – This is how we feel about our relationships with family members and friends, and concerns how lovable we feel. This is an area where one’s upbringing and past can have a direct impact [...]

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Advice for Newlyweds: 5 Practical Tips

Advice for Newlyweds: 5 Practical Tips

Jennifer Kooshian2025-10-11T09:20:59+00:00August 23rd, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

You did it! The months of planning resulted in a stunning wedding day, and you have returned from a magical honeymoon. Now, it is time to settle into life as a couple. This is where the rubber meets the road, and you will truly become one – one household, that is. Advice for newlyweds can help. Advice for Newlyweds: 5 Tips Newlyweds experience heightened emotion and adrenaline in the early days of marriage. Settling down into the mundane aspects of living together takes some adjustment. It is normal to experience growing pains this season as you become more intimately involved in work schedules, household tasks, and habits that you each have developed independently and now must mesh together. Give each other personal space This applies both to your physical space and your time. Retaining your individual friendships is important, so let your partner have girls’/guys’ nights out without you. Do not micromanage your spouse’s other relationships. Each of you brings your own tastes and hobbies to the relationship. Whether it be tools, craft supplies, games, or any number of things, communication about storage and decorative aesthetics is good to have when deciding how to organize your new household. Work out a household budget Nobody likes talking about money, but avoiding the conversation is a certain way to create conflict. Whether you join your bank accounts or not, you both need to decide how bills will be paid, how groceries will be acquired, and how to build up savings for the future you want to have together. Other things to work out include: Insurance coverage: health, car, house. Retirement plans. Fun money. Discuss the division of labor in the house The house needs to be cleaned, the cars need maintenance, and laundry and dishes are never-ending. If you are both [...]

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How to Advocate for Your Child’s Needs in School

How to Advocate for Your Child’s Needs in School

Kate Motaung2024-11-27T12:54:28+00:00August 16th, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Parents and guardians play a crucial role in ensuring the success of their child, in life, and specifically, in school. If you have a child with a learning disability, psychiatric difficulty, or history of trauma, they may benefit from extra assistance at school, and you will need to advocate for your child's needs. As knowledge and awareness about children’s mental health increases, schools are improving at meeting the needs of these students, integrating and facilitating the best learning experience for them. However, parents may need to advocate for their child. What falls under the disability umbrella? Learning disabilities vary and can also be impacted by other conditions such as ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. Children on the autism spectrum may have high intelligence in one area but struggle in others. This list outlines some of the more common learning disabilities. Dyslexia A learning disability that makes reading and decoding what was read difficult. Dyscalculia A learning disability that makes understanding numbers and math difficult. Dysgraphia A neurological condition that makes it difficult to write. Dyspraxia A neurological condition that affects fine and gross motor skills. Dysphasia/Aphasia A condition that makes speech and language difficult. Auditory processing disorder A condition that makes it difficult to hear differences in sounds. Visual processing disorder A condition in which the brain has difficulty interpreting visual information. Figuring out your child’s struggles so you can advocate for your child's needs may take time, requiring testing and a diagnosis by a speech or occupational therapist. You may need a referral from your child’s pediatrician to get a diagnosis. Once you have it, though, it will be easier to start the process of getting an IEP or 504 plan. What is an IEP and a 504 plan? A 504 plan is a list of [...]

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6 Ways to Prepare for Seasonal Depression

6 Ways to Prepare for Seasonal Depression

Jennifer Kooshian2025-10-11T09:21:09+00:00July 30th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

While many people extol the joys of autumn foliage and are excited about “sweater weather,” those who have struggled with seasonal depression may be less enthusiastic about the changing seasons. However, knowing that you have dealt with seasonal depression in the past, you can prepare yourself for the season. 6 Ways to Prepare for Seasonal Depression Here are six ways to prepare yourself to handle the winter blues. Supplements and medications Stock up on vitamin D and talk to your doctor about any prescription medications you may need. Anti-depressants can take some time to work up to their full strength. If you don’t take anti-depressants in the sunnier months, talk to your doctor about starting your prescription before winter’s darkness hits. Adding a vitamin D supplement is also helpful when the sunshine no longer pierces the clouds with its rays. Light therapy Speaking of sunshine, consider purchasing sunshine lamps. You can use one at home or work to boost your mood. Have fun Make some fun plans for the gloomy seasons. When you have something to look forward to, it makes the long nights more bearable. See a movie in the theater, make lunch dates with friends, plan a game night, buy some books you have wanted to read or plan an old-fashioned weekly watch party of a TV show rather than a straight binge. Create a space you love to be in Hygge up your personal space. The Scandinavian concept of hygge took the US by storm during COVID-19, and plenty of excellent tips can make your home or office more comfortable during the colder, darker time of year. Stock up on teas, coffee, or cocoa. Have blankets at the ready. Research recipes that make you excited to stay in and cook. Make a playlist of music that [...]

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