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Teens can be tricky to communicate with at the best of times, especially when they are putting up walls and determining their boundaries. They need the space to find their identity and gain independence, but they also need support, love, and assurance from their parents, even if they can’t express that need. How do we communicate better and connect with our teens when it feels like so much space has come between us? Teenage needs Many teenagers focus on winning approval from peers and determining their values individually and independently from family expectations. This could mean that they start taking part in risky behaviors, which might include things like becoming sexually active and trying substances for the first time. Many parents fear losing control of their kids in this way and naturally worry about their teens’ future. To regain control, they might resort to lecturing, warning, grounding, and other disciplinary measures. Unfortunately, disciplinary measures like this tend to create more distance between teens and parents, leaving the teens in a more vulnerable state than before. Teens want to be seen as mature even when they don’t behave that way. They want their preferences paid attention to and their voices heard. They need someone who will try to understand them, from a place of curiosity and non-judgment. This can be a challenge for controlling parents who believe they are privileged to every bit of information regarding their kids. The truth is, as teens begin to age, things like privacy and space are healthy for their development. Communicate better by being curious, not critical Teenagers feel valued when you observe their world, but don’t try to fit yourself into it. Communicating with teens often means finding the balance between keeping a distance and holding them close. A productive approach will require [...]