Individual Counseling

8 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

8 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Melissa Plantz2025-09-24T06:49:41+00:00September 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Toxic relationships can leave emotional scars, not only physical ones. You should know the signs of a toxic relationship to recognize those red flags in your own relationship or the relationship of someone you love. Eight Signs of a Toxic Relationship There are eight common signs of a toxic relationship. Your relationship does not need to display all eight signs to be unhealthy and traumatic. Yours may only display one or two. For example, your significant other may not control the finances or talk badly about you behind your back (as far as you know), but this person makes mean comments and sometimes hits you or demands sex from you. This is abuse and should be dealt with carefully. Once you recognize the signs of toxicity in your own relationship, you may need professional help to resolve it. You may need law enforcement, legal counsel, family law (if you have children), and counseling to move through the trauma and start fresh. A Christian counselor can walk you through the steps and help you end a toxic relationship. Read more to learn eight signs of a toxic relationship. Tells Others You are “Crazy” An abuser needs sympathy from others. They want the focus on them and for people to understand what they are “dealing” with at home. An abuser will tell others you are crazy, hard to live with, or hostile toward them. These are often lies to remove your credibility and to gain sympathy for themselves. This can also trigger isolation as other people distance themselves from you. Lies to Gain Sympathy An abuser may exaggerate or outright lie about you to others to gain sympathy. They crave attention but do not want their narrative questioned. They may do whatever they can to keep you isolated and limit the [...]

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Coping with Psychological Trauma

Coping with Psychological Trauma

Sandra Stein2025-08-22T07:23:13+00:00August 22nd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Psychological trauma refers to the emotional distress caused by a frightening event that shatters your sense of security, overwhelms your mind’s ability to cope, and can leave your nervous system stuck in fight or flight mode. Though it often involves a life-threatening incident, it’s not the actual circumstances that determine whether something is perceived as traumatic or not, but rather, it’s your subjective experience of it. The more shocked and helpless it makes you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized by it. Signs Of Psychological Trauma People respond to psychological trauma in different ways, but some of the most common signs include: Feeling helpless, isolated, and overwhelmed. Feeling unsafe, edgy, and easily startled. Trouble concentrating or staying focused. Persistent feelings of fear and anxiety. Trouble sleeping. Avoiding people, places, activities, and conversations that remind you of the trauma. Feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust people. Having flashbacks where you suddenly feel as though you are reliving the experience in the present. Common Causes of Psychological Trauma Some of the most common causes of psychological trauma include experiencing or witnessing (first hand or vicariously) a distressing event such as a car accident, plane crash, physical assault, terrorist attack, medical emergency, or natural disaster; being exposed to repeated, stress-producing incidents such as domestic violence, bullying, or neighborhood crime; or the shock of a loved one’s sudden demise, the unexpected breakup of a significant relationship, or receiving an unwanted diagnosis. Helpful Tips for Dealing with Psychological Trauma Acknowledge your feelings Acknowledge and accept your feelings without judging them, and allow yourself to feel what you feel when you feel it. Learn how to calm your nervous system Learn how to calm your nervous system by practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and mindfulness exercises that ground you in [...]

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Divorce in the Bible: Where to Turn When Your Marriage Has Ended

Divorce in the Bible: Where to Turn When Your Marriage Has Ended

Caitlin Mallery2025-07-01T07:05:38+00:00July 1st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Divorce is complicated. Divorce in the ancient world was not the same as in modern America. Pastors and Bible scholars have gone around and around trying to interpret and understand the passages about divorce in the Bible from Paul, Jesus, and Malachi. If your marriage is ending, Scripture passages about divorce in the Bible can give you comfort when you are struggling with loneliness, abandonment, and other heartbreak related to divorce. It can be hard to know where to turn after divorce, and you may struggle with knowing who to trust. Turn to your God after divorce A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing – Psalm 68:5-6, NIV Family is part of God’s plan for people. Being part of a family is not easy, and you may not always look the way you planned or hoped. Throughout history, families have been broken by war, disease, and many other things. Divorce is one of the breaking of families, but healing can still happen. After breaking, new families can be made, and God cares for all families and people. My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. – Psalm 25:15-17, NIV Learning to turn to God when you are feeling sorrow will help you when you feel discouraged. He is always present, and He loves you no matter what you do or where you go. Regular prayer and other spiritual practices can be a balm to your soul through the season of divorce. Turn to [...]

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Should I Get Married? 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

Should I Get Married? 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

Joanna Kucherera2025-06-28T06:55:28+00:00June 28th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There was a time in history when the common reasons for marriage were procreation, social status, food, and economic and physical security. At that point in history, marriages were mostly transactional and parties to such marriages already knew their place in the ensuing marriage. Fast forward to today, there is no denying that there has been a huge shift in the dating and courtship arenas. Most people have more freedom to decide if they want to date, who they want to date, and why. The marriage institution itself, has not been spared from this glaring shift which is probably why you have been asking yourself, “Should I get married?” The question of whether one should get married cannot be answered by a mere yes or no. Most Christian marriage vows include the phrase “till death do us part,” to indicate the commitment the couple has toward each other and their relationship. Because a Christian marriage is ideally intended to be for a lifetime, due consideration must be taken before an individual or a couple commits to a marriage. Ideally, one should ask the question should I get married at two stages of their lives; when they are still single because asking this question when you are already in a relationship will likely cloud your judgment. Secondly, this question should also be asked when one is in a serious relationship with someone to try and determine whether they are the right partner. It is a question that requires deep introspection, regular consultation with scripture, and constant prayer. While counselors, pastors, and the Bible may provide a solid roadmap, you ultimately need to decide whether to get married. It is a fact that most churches put more value on the marriage institution over singleness and this, in turn, puts pressure on [...]

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What You Need to Know About Emotional Eating

What You Need to Know About Emotional Eating

Melissa Plantz2025-05-08T05:51:21+00:00May 8th, 2025|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

The emotional eating pattern is a familiar one. You start the day as usual, waking up and vowing that this will be the day you eat healthy and “stay on plan.” You eat a nutritious breakfast, then grab a quick lunch of coffee and a small wrap. But then the work stress piles on, and you get a call from the school that you need to pick up your child early. Your spouse must work late, and you must figure out dinner. Before you know it, you are standing in the pantry eating a bag of chips and nibbling a cookie from the new box. Emotional eating, that familiar struggle, has you in its grip again. But what exactly is emotional eating? Can you stop it? What is emotional eating? Emotional eating is an impulsive behavior. We feel uncomfortable, and a surge of strong emotions, and we are unsure how to handle these feelings. In turn, we choose food to soothe our souls. Unfortunately, an eating occasion is a temporary event, and the feel-good chemicals released by the brain are a fleeting quick fix. Often, emotional eating behaviors go back to childhood or early adult years. If you felt emotions and did not know how to manage them, you may have reached for food, or someone may have rewarded you with food to make you feel better. Eventually, our brains recognized this behavior as a reward system. Emotional eating can lead to physical and mental conditions: Rapid weight gain. Obesity. High blood pressure. Rapid heart rate. Shortness of breath. Feeling out of control. Feeling guilt and shame. Depression. Anxiety. Increased risk for a heart attack or stroke. Digestive issues. Low self-esteem and confidence. Body image issues. Emotional eating is a behavior you can stop. The behavior becomes impulsive, and [...]

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The Grieving Process: Did I Miss the Signs?

The Grieving Process: Did I Miss the Signs?

Stephanie Kramer2025-04-29T05:32:37+00:00April 29th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

The grieving process can be cruel. One of its insidious tactics is to whisper lies and shove doubts down the throats of its victims. It whispers “what if” into the ears of grieving caregivers after the death of their loved one. It twists love and dedication into guilt and self-doubt, and worse, self-blame. It’s an unforgiving, shrill voice that makes the caregiver question every choice, every missed moment and every subtle sign they might have overlooked. This inner turmoil can feel overwhelming, especially when you’ve poured so much of yourself into caring for a loved one. But before you let these thoughts consume you, it’s important to recognize them for what they are – a natural but painful part of the grieving process, not a reflection of your worth or the value of the care that you provided. Feelings Often Attached to the Grieving Process A lot of caregivers get immediately absorbed in this sticky web of self-blame after their loved one passes away. In an effort to make sense of the trauma that they are going through, they try to orient themselves and contextualize the situation by replaying the events leading up to the death of their loved one. During this part of the grieving process, many wonder if they missed some obvious sign that their loved one was at the end of their life. If you were the caregiver to someone who passed away and these thoughts are running through your mind, let me assure you that it is a common question attached to a common reaction, guilt coupled with feelings of inadequacy and regret. The occurrence of these feelings is most common in caregivers whose patients dealt with complex or progressive illnesses, as these types of long-term illnesses may show more subtle changes than those with [...]

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Light Therapy Benefits for Winter Seasonal Depression

Light Therapy Benefits for Winter Seasonal Depression

Grace Mavindidze2025-03-11T04:51:33+00:00March 11th, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

During the colder months, many people struggle with winter seasonal depression, which affects their overall quality of life. When sunshine is scarce, many Americans experience difficulties associated with their mental health, mainly due to a decrease in daylight hours that can easily trigger feelings of sadness. Winter Seasonal Depression, which is a part of what is called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a kind of depression occurring at a certain period of the year, usually during the fall and winter months when there is less natural sunlight. Sometimes it is called Winter Depression or Winter SAD because the symptoms are more apparent and severe during these months. For those who suffer from winter blues, a breakthrough therapy called light therapy offers a natural approach to such feelings, simulating sunlight exposure that reverses the symptoms of this common condition. The exact cause of SAD in Winter isn’t fully understood, but it is often linked to reduced exposure to sunlight, which may affect the body’s internal clock. It is also known that this lack of natural light upsets the body’s circadian rhythms and serotonin levels, leading to mood changes. As daylight dwindles during colder months, we all feel more exhausted, and irritable with a general sense of gloom. Suspected Causes of Seasonal Affective Disorder The change in seasons can impact the balance of certain hormones in those vulnerable to Winter Seasonal Depression. These changes contribute to significant fatigue and mood swings that are quite common when winter arrives. Genetic predisposition has been seen to play a role in vulnerability to SAD. For example, women are much more affected than men. Nutritional deficiencies can worsen Winter Depression symptoms too. With fewer fresh fruits available during chilly months, vitamin D intake often decreases drastically since it naturally comes from sun exposure enjoyed [...]

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Challenging Irrational Thinking Using Socratic Questioning

Challenging Irrational Thinking Using Socratic Questioning

Cyndi Kay Green2025-09-26T13:04:54+00:00March 6th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

A person who struggles with irrational thinking can become overwhelmed with thoughts that can interfere with everyday life. Cognitive therapy in Longview, Washington focuses on assisting individuals in changing their negative and irrational thought processes. Therapists at Longview Christian Counseling in Washington use cognitive restructuring techniques to help you remove unhealthy thoughts. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. – Philippians 4:8, NASB How does a therapist challenge irrational thinking? When a therapist guides you through a series of questions that challenge your thought it is termed cognitive restructuring. Cognitive therapy uses this to help you identify harmful and irrational thoughts. Restructuring your thoughts can help you develop coping strategies that create healthy reactions to situations. One popular technique is Socratic questioning. Socratic questioning stems from a process used by Socrates, a Greek philosopher. In this process, he questioned students in a way that encouraged them to evaluate the validity of the truth of their thoughts. Socratic questioning is used in cognitive therapy to help individuals reflect on their thoughts and whether those thoughts are valid. Using Socratic questioning, individuals can remove or change their thought process in an attempt to understand the truth of what they believe. It can help the person understand what they know versus what they believe. Some beliefs are based on irrational thoughts which can lead to anxiety and depression. The Process of Socratic Questions for Irrational Thinking Because thoughts are continually happening in our minds, we rarely understand each of them to their fullness. This means that we probably fail to address them as we should. When this happens, we can find ourselves [...]

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Goals and Benefits of Anger Management Counseling

Goals and Benefits of Anger Management Counseling

Kate Motaung2024-12-20T11:43:23+00:00November 9th, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling|

We’ve all had those moments when our emotions have gotten the better of us. Usually, it’s when we’re feeling tired, hungry, haven’t slept well, or are under enormous pressure from work, finances, or relationship issues. In that moment, we can yield to what we’re feeling, whether it’s anger, resentment, sadness, or glee. For better or worse, we find ourselves thinking, acting, or saying something we shouldn’t, with all its consequences. We could use better anger management counseling. One powerful emotion that is often associated with negative actions and consequences is anger. Anger comes in different guises, and it has varying levels of intensity. A person can be mildly annoyed or irritated, or they can find themselves in a boiling rage. Whatever level of anger one is feeling, it can manifest and get expressed in different ways, with some of these being problematic. For the person who wrestles with anger, the good news is that there is effective help available through self-help techniques as well as the deeper work that anger management counseling yields. Is anger the problem? There are some emotions we readily consider or categorize as negative or unhealthy. These include anger and sadness. The issue, however, isn’t the emotions, but the circumstances in which they arise. We get angry in certain moments because someone has thwarted us, or because we feel threatened in some way. Sadness often follows on the heels of loss, and so the emotions themselves can start to seem unwelcome. Our emotions are an important part of our makeup, and they perform the much-needed function of alerting us to what’s going on inside of us. Thinking of your emotions as unhealthy or negative (and thus to be avoided) is about as helpful as taping over your “check engine” light or the fuel gauge in your [...]

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Counseling for Men: Finding Help When You Need It

Counseling for Men: Finding Help When You Need It

Kate Motaung2024-11-07T13:03:32+00:00October 8th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

While the world that we live in is full of splendor and beauty, it’s also true that there is brokenness and a lot that isn’t right. We find that we aren’t at rest or peace. Through our work or accomplishments, we strive to feel accepted, worthy, secure, seen, and heard. When success comes, we find ourselves feeling a fleeting sense of rest, then we start all over again. In this context, counseling for men can be helpful. The apostle was right when he wrote that the creation is groaning, and even those who hope in Jesus are also groaning inwardly as they await the renewal of all things (Romans 8:22-25). There’s help available to us when we need it. Having others to walk with makes the journey easier, whether we are celebrating the joys of life or mourning the tragedies and hardships that mark our lives. Counseling is one of the forms of help that’s available. Counseling for men: Some challenges and opportunities Men struggle with a wide range of issues and concerns. Millions of men struggle with anxiety disorders, depression, relationship issues, anger management issues, fear of abandonment, and much more. These affect how a man thinks about himself and others, and how he acts in everyday life. These concerns can affect a man’s ability to flourish and have a healthy, well-balanced life. One of the challenges that men face is that they are socialized to be self-sufficient and to learn how to handle problems on their own. There’s often a stigma attached to a man not being able to handle things on his own. Many of the role models and heroes that the culture puts forward for men to emulate are the types who take care of their business by themselves. The hardened warrior, the cowboy, or [...]

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