Relationship Issues Archives | Longview Christian Counseling

Divorce in the Bible: Where to Turn When Your Marriage Has Ended

Divorce in the Bible: Where to Turn When Your Marriage Has Ended

Caitlin Mallery2025-07-01T07:05:38+00:00July 1st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Divorce is complicated. Divorce in the ancient world was not the same as in modern America. Pastors and Bible scholars have gone around and around trying to interpret and understand the passages about divorce in the Bible from Paul, Jesus, and Malachi. If your marriage is ending, Scripture passages about divorce in the Bible can give you comfort when you are struggling with loneliness, abandonment, and other heartbreak related to divorce. It can be hard to know where to turn after divorce, and you may struggle with knowing who to trust. Turn to your God after divorce A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing – Psalm 68:5-6, NIV Family is part of God’s plan for people. Being part of a family is not easy, and you may not always look the way you planned or hoped. Throughout history, families have been broken by war, disease, and many other things. Divorce is one of the breaking of families, but healing can still happen. After breaking, new families can be made, and God cares for all families and people. My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. – Psalm 25:15-17, NIV Learning to turn to God when you are feeling sorrow will help you when you feel discouraged. He is always present, and He loves you no matter what you do or where you go. Regular prayer and other spiritual practices can be a balm to your soul through the season of divorce. Turn to [...]

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Should I Get Married? 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

Should I Get Married? 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

Joanna Kucherera2025-06-28T06:55:28+00:00June 28th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There was a time in history when the common reasons for marriage were procreation, social status, food, and economic and physical security. At that point in history, marriages were mostly transactional and parties to such marriages already knew their place in the ensuing marriage. Fast forward to today, there is no denying that there has been a huge shift in the dating and courtship arenas. Most people have more freedom to decide if they want to date, who they want to date, and why. The marriage institution itself, has not been spared from this glaring shift which is probably why you have been asking yourself, “Should I get married?” The question of whether one should get married cannot be answered by a mere yes or no. Most Christian marriage vows include the phrase “till death do us part,” to indicate the commitment the couple has toward each other and their relationship. Because a Christian marriage is ideally intended to be for a lifetime, due consideration must be taken before an individual or a couple commits to a marriage. Ideally, one should ask the question should I get married at two stages of their lives; when they are still single because asking this question when you are already in a relationship will likely cloud your judgment. Secondly, this question should also be asked when one is in a serious relationship with someone to try and determine whether they are the right partner. It is a question that requires deep introspection, regular consultation with scripture, and constant prayer. While counselors, pastors, and the Bible may provide a solid roadmap, you ultimately need to decide whether to get married. It is a fact that most churches put more value on the marriage institution over singleness and this, in turn, puts pressure on [...]

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Emotional Baggage, Communication, and the First Year of Marriage

Emotional Baggage, Communication, and the First Year of Marriage

Stephanie Kramer2025-01-22T05:41:54+00:00January 22nd, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Bringing emotional baggage from past relationships into your marriage can significantly impact communication and intimacy. Past trauma or unresolved issues can color your perceptions and your reactions. It’s important to address your emotional issues individually and as a couple to ensure that they don’t interfere with your marriage. Understanding Emotional Baggage We often hear the term “emotional baggage” in everyday life, but until it is applied to and interfering with our own lives, we may not fully understand the impact it can have on a relationship. Sometimes the term gets used out of context or is misused to mean past experiences. We have all had negative or damaging experiences in our lives but that doesn’t mean that we are forever broken. We may be broken, but we can be put back together, mended, and healed through God’s grace and compassion. Just because we have an experience, doesn’t mean that we are allowing those things to damage our current or future relationships. True emotional baggage refers to the unresolved emotional issues from past experiences that individuals carry into new relationships. This baggage can manifest in various ways such as distrust, fear of vulnerability, or unresolved anger. In a marriage, this baggage can create barriers to open communication and emotional intimacy, as past traumas or unresolved issues may color perceptions and reactions, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. Impact on Communication The presence of emotional baggage can significantly impact the way partners communicate. Here are some common ways it can affect communication: Distrust and Suspicion Past betrayals or infidelities can lead to distrust in a new relationship. This distrust can manifest as suspicion and constant questioning, which can strain communication, undermine intimacy, and create tension. Fear of Vulnerability Emotional wounds from past relationships can make individuals hesitate to open up and be [...]

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The Greatest Love of All: Jesus’ Blueprint for Relationships

The Greatest Love of All: Jesus’ Blueprint for Relationships

Kate Motaung2024-12-27T11:41:47+00:00December 27th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Much emphasis is placed on Biblical teaching about loving God and people, and rightly so. It is the pinnacle of the Christian faith by which others will know the believers who make up the Body of Christ (John 13:35). Furthermore, the love that we demonstrate will cause others to know God Himself. It is love alone, not fear or shame, that draws people to Jesus. In being magnetized to His lovingkindness, we find that Love is the most radical force we could ever encounter. God Himself is Love. By Him, everything visible has materialized by His spoken Word from the realm of the unseen (John 1:3; Colossians 1:16-17). The Love of God sparks and sustains relationships, underscoring our connection with others. Love is the foundation that builds community, as Jesus illustrated by engaging those who followed Him and believed. We who abide in Him learn to live sacrificially, sharpening one another, offering strength and support to live in vibrant interdependence as one diversified Body. Less than a half-century ago, an older song rebounded from obscurity, climbing its way into a hit popularized by a budding pop sensation.[1] In the remake, the songstress ascended the music charts, belting with boldness that, “learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” Jesus was the first to highlight the connection between loving God, ourselves, and our neighbors (Matthew 22:36-40). Long before these lyrics were set to music, Jesus knew that we would need to have a sense of how loved we are by God. We need this encouragement to follow His divine example to love and serve, even to the point of sacrifice. This song intersects with Scripture, illustrating how the Father’s Love activated in us allows us to respond to God, to serve Him and others well. Greater love has [...]

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Understanding Each Other’s Family Dynamics Through Premarital Counseling

Understanding Each Other’s Family Dynamics Through Premarital Counseling

Stephanie Kramer2024-10-25T09:02:24+00:00October 18th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Premarital counseling is a common practice and has become a staple in many faith-based communities for good reasons. It helps couples prepare not just for their wedding day, but for the lifelong journey that follows. Some studies have shown that couples who go through premarital counseling have a lower instance of divorce than those who don’t. When doing premarital counseling for couples with children from other relationships, most pastors or therapists prepare couples by helping them learn better communication skills or how to adjust expectations for their new married lives. Still, many fail to discuss the importance of family dynamics and the process of becoming a stepfamily with their engaged clients. Many stepfamilies receive no premarital preparation whatsoever. Mature brides and grooms don’t see the need for counseling as most of their first-time married counterparts do. And when they do receive counseling, it typically follows the same framework used for first-time married couples. While this might be helpful to a certain extent, it doesn’t address the targeted support they need to address the complexities of blending families. This might leave the couple feeling unprepared for the challenges that lie ahead. Tips for effective premarital counseling To address these challenges, effective premarital counseling for blended families should include: Talking with the children Including children in the discussion about the new family structure and the wedding can make the transition smoother. Children who feel involved and heard are more likely to embrace the new family dynamic positively. Adjusting expectations Couples should recalibrate their expectations about family bonding. Blending families takes time and patience, and recognizing this can help them avoid unrealistic expectations. Acknowledging grief Recognizing and addressing the grief children (and sometimes even the couple themselves) may feel from past losses helps to build stronger bonds between stepparents and children. Establishing [...]

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Advice for Newlyweds: 5 Practical Tips

Advice for Newlyweds: 5 Practical Tips

Jennifer Kooshian2024-12-20T11:46:51+00:00August 23rd, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

You did it! The months of planning resulted in a stunning wedding day, and you have returned from a magical honeymoon. Now, it is time to settle into life as a couple. This is where the rubber meets the road, and you will truly become one – one household, that is. Advice for newlyweds can help. Advice for Newlyweds: 5 Tips Newlyweds experience heightened emotion and adrenaline in the early days of marriage. Settling down into the mundane aspects of living together takes some adjustment. It is normal to experience growing pains this season as you become more intimately involved in work schedules, household tasks, and habits that you each have developed independently and now must mesh together. Give each other personal space This applies both to your physical space and your time. Retaining your individual friendships is important, so let your partner have girls’/guys’ nights out without you. Do not micromanage your spouse’s other relationships. Each of you brings your own tastes and hobbies to the relationship. Whether it be tools, craft supplies, games, or any number of things, communication about storage and decorative aesthetics is good to have when deciding how to organize your new household. Work out a household budget Nobody likes talking about money, but avoiding the conversation is a certain way to create conflict. Whether you join your bank accounts or not, you both need to decide how bills will be paid, how groceries will be acquired, and how to build up savings for the future you want to have together. Other things to work out include: Insurance coverage: health, car, house. Retirement plans. Fun money. Discuss the division of labor in the house The house needs to be cleaned, the cars need maintenance, and laundry and dishes are never-ending. If you are both [...]

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